I chose to make a derogatory comment regarding a person's sexual orientation. I chose this because it is something I never do, and I was curious to know what the reactions would be like. I made the comment around two good friends, in the middle of the conversation regarding a mutual acquaintance. I anticipated shock, anger and indignation from my friends. I was correct in expecting surprise and shock, but they were not angry or indignant, which surprised me a lot. Instead they were very puzzled, and seemed to eventually come to the decision that it was both confusing and hilarious that I would say something like that. Apparently, it did not occur to them that I was serious. I think that their reactions speak less to greater social norms, and instead demonstrate the norms of the smaller social group that the three of us are members of. I found it particularly interesting that it never occurred to them to consider that I would say something like that and mean it, and instead they found it so abnormal a comment to hear from me that they found the whole situation to be humorous.
Hey Nora!
ReplyDeleteI must agree that I would react the same if I heard you say something of that nature. I like how you pointed out as if it is almost a social norm although it shouldn't be. Its also crazy to me how hearing these kind of comments can be considered to be somewhat normal.
Interesting. The fact that your friends were surprised and at the same time found it humorous may also demonstrate social conformity. Perhaps they didn't know how to react to the comment so decided just to agree with it. But you are right, it does show how this kind of comment can, unfortunately in many circles, be considered socially acceptable.
ReplyDeleteHey Nora -
ReplyDeleteThat was very interesting. I that your right about your intimate social group and it not being reflective of greater society. Your friends know you so well that their response seems appropriate. I did you ever tell them it was a class assignment?
Greg
Your post is interesting to me, and it brings up a good point. Often, when derogatory comments are made, especially in the company of friends, they are taken as jokes. Your friends thought you were kidding, and so the offensive comment was never really addressed. It makes me wonder how much of a role comedy plays in age/gender/sexual orientation stratification. Comedians are constantly using racial or sexist jokes in their acts, and it is socially acceptable. In a sense, a comedy act is one of the only places that such offensive material is accepted without question. Some comedians would say that these jokes help people relax and poke fun at stereotypes, but there is a thin line between what is considered funny and what can be misconstrued as offensive.
ReplyDelete